Choose Your Support Wisely
Relief. That feeling of owning your own experience.
That feeling of guiding your own baby through and out of your body, lifting up your leg and turning around to see your fresh new baby lying in a puddle of fluid on the floor of your own bedroom, staring at your baby for as long as you need to, coming back into your own body in the time that it takes you, no one talking, no one rushing in, no one distracting you from this irreplaceable moment.
No one touching your baby before you do, no one pulling your baby up from the floor and placing your baby onto your chest.
Full ownership of your timeline. Full autonomy every step of the way.
Choosing when and how you begin this sacred dance of motherhood by allowing your spirit to recalibrate, re-enter your body, and connect with and animate you to pick up your baby.. at the perfect time.
Pulling your baby up to your face, staring at their crying mouth, their little ears, their slicked hair.. bringing them up to your lips to kiss their feather soft skin and take in the scent of them, their waxy vernix mixed with your salty fluid and your blood, now pressed into your lips as you cement your connection in this moment, this epic moment that will imprint your baby and shape their personality for the rest of their life.
How did it feel when YOU entered the world? Was it sacred like this? Was it undisturbed like this?
Was your mother the one who got to decide and choreograph this ancient primal dance of recalibration, connection, this fleeting instant of rushing hormones and time moving as slowly as needed in order to make it stick? To cement the feelings of “now here you are and let me marvel at you and come back into my body as time stands still”?
Think about what you want in your birth and choose a setting and a provider who matches those desires.
If you want a natural birth without pain medications or interventions, if you want to choreograph your own dance, don’t go into an environment that offers pain medications and interventions with employees and staff who like to control the narrative.
You may ask for medication at home but your team at a home birth will have creative solutions to help support you in your vision of a drug free body/baby/birth/experience.
If you’re in a hospital, not only will they not have those same tools most likely, but they will see women asking for and receiving medication so much more frequently than not, that this — medicated babies/mamas/birth — will be their “normal.”
If you want someone who will support you to have a vaginal birth, don’t ask someone who is trained in surgical/cesarean birth to attend your birth. Ask someone who is well versed and experienced in vaginal birth, in normal physiological birth.
If you want to stay home and birth your baby on your own terms, don’t invite someone who has a 50% transfer-to-hospital rate for first time moms. (I just learned that a local midwifery team boasts this 50% transfer rate 😭)
The new souls coming into this world, in this time, are choosing their paths. If you’re pregnant and feeling an inkling or a loud un-ignorable push to explore birth at home, approach that with curiosity. Connect with your baby, because they will show you the way to their birth.
They will show you who should be there and who should not. They will show you visions of your birth, how they see it, if you tune in and ask them to show you. They will come to you in your dreams and show you their grand entrance down to the tiniest details. And then they will lay out before you the path to get there, and guide you in your decision making process. All you have to do is connect, ask, and then listen.
You and your baby can align and bring forth the most optimal birth scenario, the one that will help them begin their time in this life, in this world, in the most aligned and magical way, whatever that ends up looking like for them. You just have to trust yourself, trust your feelings, your dreams, your messages, and the signs.
I know each soul chooses its own path before it comes into this reality, and that looks different for everyone. What is ideal of me and my soul’s journey is not the same ideal for you and your soul’s journey.
What I do know is that I’ve made a sacred commitment to be unconditionally present for the needs of the women of my community who are desiring a partner as they navigate the journey of their childbearing years.
And not to offer easy answers or a quick fix to all of the complex spiritual, emotional, and physical experiences that come up to explore in pregnancy, birth, and postpartum. I’m not here to take on responsibility or ownership of anyone else‘s experience in that way.
Instead, my calling is to provide a mirror back to my companions in these journeys, in hopes of nurturing in them a deeper relationship with the Great Mystery, with life, with birth and death and womanhood and the divine and MAGIC.
Each month I host a group of women in my home who feel resonant with these ideas. The next one is coming up on January 8th. This is a free gathering of local pregnant women and women planning to conceive soon. We eat snacks and have tea and chat about whatever comes up as well as touching in with some clinical care if desired, and it’s becoming my favorite time of the month for sure :) Please register to join us if you’re feeling called.
Then, on January 22nd, I’m offering a free childbirth education workshop. We will, again, eat snacks and have tea :) and learn about all the big and small ways we can try to shift into the space of full alignment with your highest birth vision. For the good of ourselves, our babies, our families, and the community. Register for this amazing experience by clicking this link.
Looking forward to sitting with you soon, if this is feeling resonant for you. 💛
In Gratitude & Service,
Ashley
